« August 2006 | Main | October 2006 »

September 20, 2006

Roatan

So here we are, safe and sound, in Roatan.

We will not attempt to cross during hurricane season. This season has been particularly calm, especially compared to the last few years, but mid-September is the brunt of it and we doin’t want to press our luck.

So we hole up here on the island of Roatan in Honduras, perhaps to find some buried treasure because the extreme delay in fixing up the boat has bankrupt our film coffers.

Keep checking back as I will keep updating. After I find out how to swim with a whale shark.
Thanks for reading.
-Ed

September 15, 2006

Sailing, day 3

We made it!

It turns out today is independence day. We got in around 6 am, giving us a total journey time of 33 hours. Good practice for the crossing.

Anyway. Going to sleep. Will wake up in a week or so.

September 14, 2006

Sailing, day 2

The second day was entirely out of touch with land. Our Captain proved he can actually sail.

We had a little yellow friend who hitched a ride.

Chief Engineer Jack proves he actually does love jelly beans.

The crew has a hot beer (our refrigeration does not work) to celebrate their first sunset at sea.

And the day was done, at least for the sun, as we had many more miles to go.

September 13, 2006

Sailing, day 1

First we stopped and picked up sandwiches and t-shirts from one of our favorite places on the rio, Sundog’s, which is a relaxed and refreshing alternative to everything else around Rio Dulce. Here are the cool owners, Babette and Yurian, behind the bar.

We casted off and streamed down the river. A slight emergency occured when we realized we had forgotten to replace the fan belt on the engine, which immediately overheated and screamed at us. We threw the anchor, made the appropriate fix, and let her cool down. The engine ran a lot nicer with the belt on it.

We left Rio Dulce through a beautiful section of river jungle.

Fishermen:

We brought the camera out and took some great footage of us going through the river.

It is the sunglasses not my face that is crooked. There was a guy here with a crooked face. He was in a whorehouse in Columbia, stepped out the back door to relieve himself, not realizing that instead of a back porch, there was a 90 foot cliff. Some kid on the way to school found him and he woke up a week later, 1000 miles away in Bogota. I’m amazed all he has is a crooked face.

Captain Tony, who captains the neighboring yacht, decided to zoom out and do a few circles around us. He said he came to check on us, but I think he wanted to run circles around us to show us how slow our boat really goes. Luckily, his boat heads to Roatan later this week, so they can tow us if we get demasted, engine trouble, and stranded. Unfortunately, Miss Teen Norway went back to wherever she came from, probably Norway.

Four hours later we were checking out of the country in Livingston. It took time so our Captain learned the bongos in a Garifuna bar from a guy who claimed to be an ex-pot smuggler for Jerry Garcia..

One of the sights in Livingston is a sad round tank seperated in four parts, each part a habitat for a sad crocodile.

Captain Chavez, in homage to Steve Irwin, decided to wrestle the crocodile, and did not fare too well. Hopefully he can still steer the Cowboy.

September 12, 2006

Finally!!!

We are leaving this place, no matter what. If we don’t leave soon we will get stuck in this hurricane hole like the rest of the people who came here 15 years ago and never left.

The Captain added new teak battons to our sails, sewing them up with our sail repair kit, which happens to be from one of his favorite places. Take a close look.

Tomorrow we sail, sans tank water, autopilot, steaming light, girls, an unplugged hole in the hull, no refrigeration, and a whole list of other stuff like guages and things. But, hell, this is supposed to be an adventure, not a damn safety class. If Cubans can float to Miami in a ´57 Chevy with pumped up tires, we can sure as hell make it to Roatan in a sail boat.

See you in Honduras…

September 11, 2006

The 11th

I had no idea today was September 11th. We have few news connections. We are just working on this boat trying to get out of Guatemala.

I did not hear anyone here discussing 9/11, including many of the expatriates. Many have moved away from the States because of things like 9/11. They even decided to switch the bar’s television to HBO instead of CNN in the morning hours. I know the news can by depressing, but my opinion is that this is weird and deconstructively deslusional – though it was kind of cool to watch Analyze That during breakfast.

More work.

Jack drills places the final touches on the bilge switch.

Cap Chavez climbs the mast to examine the steaming light, and discovers the problem –

So we will be steaming without this. Don’t tell the coast guard.

And finally, the dogs.

There´s Tell.

And Waldo, the Ladykiller.

September 10, 2006

Chicken Buses and Coyotes

Today we rode the bus back to Rio Dulce. They have what they call “chicken buses” here, which are packed with people and the occasion chicken. It was also packed with eight hours of misery.

The only interesting thing was that three young Hondurans were riding in the standing rooom only section. They planned to illegally cross into Mexico, then into the USA, using the lowest sort of people there are, the Coyotes, to slip them across a border that has thousands more guards now, and earn untold riches in the North. One seemed to be the leader - he spoke English with us and whistled at all the girls; his friend was a lanky, sensitive looking guy who seemed like he would fit better wearing black in a New York City coffeeshop; and the third was thin and scarred, with a wild look in his eyes and a tangled mess of unwashed hair. He spent much of his time practicing picking the pockets of his lanky goofy friend’s jeans.

I don’t think their chances are good.

September 9, 2006

Antigua - Ruins

Today we continued to explore the village. It reminds me of cities in central Mexico like San Miguel de Allende and Guanejauto, and was indeed built by the Spaniards during the same era.

At one point Antigua was the thriving center of Guatemala, but natural disasters in the late 18th century destroyed much of what was grand.

The Antiguan people kept the ruins (because ruins and history are what give a city character, Houston, Texas, and your desire to tear down the River Oaks movie theater like you tear down everything and remain soulless, every marching forward but going nowhere like Alice’s Red Queen).

Busses are really cool here, too.

More ruin shots:

And the crew that can do no evil.

September 8, 2006

Antigua - Pacaya


Today we climbed the volcano Pacaya.

Waiting for the bus, Jack discovered Contra, the old NES game. For the first time I realized that the scenery of Contra is remarkably similar to the scenery of Guatemala.

The bus bounced up as far as it could go, depositing us three kilometers from the crater. Only Guatemalans can go up to the crater´s edge, because some idiot gringo fell in once.

Thanks, bud.

After a few hours of climbing in the rain, we were on the moonlike slopes of the volcano. I hadn’t seen anything comprable since that pumice hunk called Iceland.


Here is a super exciting link for those who are curious how fast lava flows.

Hey, Mom, I lit a cigarette off a volcano! (she won’t know what to be more angry about)

Travis tried to save the town but, exceptionally, had not had enough beer that day.

The volcano mascot.

And one for the grandchildren.

Then of course it blew up and we all almost died.

We ran – here is a shot of me saving a local from the umbrella people – and slid down the mountain.

- thank god for Jack who had seen a South Park episode that taught him, in case of lava, to “duck and cover,” so we survived.

September 7, 2006

Antigua!

After almost two months on the Rio Dulce in Guatemala, we were all about to go loco, so we took a vaction to Antigua. It is a beautiful village in Gautemala known for its long low buildings of many colors, its hordes of gringo tourists, and the mammoth volcano looming overhead.

Some might ask why build a town so close to a volcano. My theory is that, by living underneath a time bomb the size of a mountain, you can’t feel that too depressed or egotistical. Like Pompei, or Krakatoa, or Jimmy Buffet god forbid, you could be incinerated at any minute, so why sweat the small stuff.

Another inspirational moment was to see that the Antiguans are well prepared for the Hamburgler - that daring Thief of Beef is no match for¨a sawed-off shotgun.

Of course Ronald sits in the back, holding court. Three interesting things about McDonald´s here in Guatemala: 1, they think this is American cuisine, as in every American cruises to McDonald´s for their birthday, which leads us to, 2, that the clown face of Ronald McDonald, for better or worse, is the face of the USA (instead of, say, another clown face), and 3, they haven’t learned that Happymeals are murder on the arteries. Guatemalans have no idea they are being poisoned by a clown.

Myself pondering these thoughts.


Here are some more pretty pictures for those of you who like flowers and staircases and stuff like that.


September 6, 2006

More Boring Boat Work

You’ve seen it before. The only fun thing was that Travis got his hair braided (tresas) but the picture was erased. He doesn’t know yet, so is probably fairly disappointed right now as he reads today’s blog.

September 4, 2006

Thirsty Engine

Lobo returned the main sail, coming through better than we thought. He restitched the whole sheet, strengthened it, and added additional battons to counteract the tendency to ¨luff,¨which is fluttering in the wind, and mostly undesirable.

To celebrate we started the engine up, ready to sail, but were grouded AGAIN with another oil leak.

Damnit.

But it was not drastic like before. Karl, our German diesel mechanic, said to put a pan underneath to catch it and pour it back in while we are underway. That was until he sniffed the oil and smelled diesel. So there went that plan. We will just have to sail with a gallons of extra oil and pour it in as it leaks out.

Don´t worry, it doesn´t leak into the ocean - it leaks into the bilge. If/when we reach Honduras our Captain will go bilge diving again.

September 3, 2006

Guns, Guns, and Money

No sailing today. A British girl was robbed at gunpoint on a boat near here. They broke into the hatches during the night and landed on her bed. Wearing ski masks, they restrained her with duct tape and rifled her rucksack. She was quite shaken up, so we are buying her food and beverages.

You learn quickly in places like Guatemala that being robbed is not so bad, as long as you are only losing things that can be replaced, like cameras and money. But if you are losing footage, that can not be replaced. Neither can life, but we stay optimistic.

In light of the dangers, we now have an armed guard, Mario. He is coming out on the boat with us to show us how to shoot guns. I can’t post any pictures here, because they might be incriminating. We will, however, put it in the movie.

If Mario doesn’t show, we always have our heat-packing Captain, and his prom date, the Colocha.

Here is a precious video of Dead Don and little Donnie singing a duet.

September 2, 2006

More Sailing More Problems

We went sailing again, this time without the main sail, which is now in the paws of the Lobo.

Jack popped up from the cabin and said, “not to worry anyone, but we are sinking.”
Travis said, “How bad?”
Jack said, “Eighty five gallons worth.”

This, of course, is the exact capacity of our water tank, which somehow emptied into the bildge. We turned for home, sad and wondering if there will every be a trip during which nothing breaks.

Honduras seems forever away, not to mention the ports beyond.

Here is Jack demonstrating his continued love for the children of Guatemala. Her name is Paula.

September 1, 2006

Roll Camera

Today we finally had time to shoot more footage. Jack prepares the P2.

It looks amazing, of course.